~We are made of Words ~

Supposedly there are 220000 words in oxford dictionary. In the Oxford 'Shorter' Dictionary there are 163,000 different words, The Oxford Reference dictionary has 115,000 different words (200,000 meanings) and The Oxford English mini-dictionary has 40,000 different words (50,000 meanings). The number of words will keep increasing progressively. And I am speaking only of English language. With n number of existing languages and merging of these languages and acceptance of hybrid words the number of words in dictionary will increase. Imagine the number of words GRE and GMAT students have to imagine :-)))

So many words to express our emotions. Our feelings. Our thoughts. Our fear. Our Anger. Our Love . Our Respect. But sometimes no matter how many words you use , the message remains unclear. It is lost in the transit and fails to reach the heart and mind. You may scream. You may put it in a song. You may use a mic or just a whisper with only your lower lip rumbling still the words are unheard. Words vaporized by the heat of indifference. When hearts and mind are closed no matter how beautiful words you chose , the shine is lost. You remain unheard like the pillar of telephone lines in the midst of a crowded street.

How did our ancestors with primitive knowledge communicate? How do babies understand? How do animals respond to our actions?  And what about the mute and dumb ? Do people having a good vocabulary , impeccable grammar and conversationalist have happy life as they can be understood better with easy flow of language???

Have you seen the sunflower turning to the sun or the bees flying to the most fragrant flower to fetch the nectar. The child in the womb knows when his mother is humming or your heart says wow when you listen to your old lost favorite track. Unspoken language

What I am trying to say or maybe trying to figure out what is required along with words to make some one understand what you trying to communicate and remove the mistrust or misunderstandings. When a verbal communication fails, non verbal communication may convey much more and in much more folds than you expect. A gentle peck on the neck early in the morning. A pat on the back when you win the trophy. Hands held when you enter the church. The look into the eyes to say I am there. Feels like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and new. It conveys more than words. More than one emotion. Its a force of emotions and feelings interwoven together fall on you like a cobweb and you just cant get to know what you just experience.

 We navigate our entire life trying to find the right words. Change and improve the words just to impress people and fit in the society. The choice of words we use to communicate label our personality. We are made of blood , flesh , soul , feelings and emotions but not 26 letters. Its not necessary to judge a person with what he says all the time. Try to find the the hidden rhythm.

To reach the feelings, you don't have to worry about the ears of other persons. Think what he or she has between their ears. Will your touch create that spark, will that kiss make someone fall in love, by holding hands will it give safety or by crying will it melt the stones??? If the answer is no there is worth to select the right words from the inexhaustible list of dictionary and forming a wave of message that will hit the empty mind and bloody heart. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words.

 

Remin Jude Francis Saldanha

The Jinxed

Its funny that we don't learn from our mistakes. No matter how torn we are in past relationships we still have the audacity to stand up and look around to find new love after being in the safety cocoon for some days. We cry , eat vanilla with hot thick chocolate syrup , join gym, catch up all old friends, change hairstyles and become religious . Trying to be cool and strong . There is an ocean of hatred and waves of sorrow keep breaking the shores of your daily mental conditions. Though we keep saying" me not looking for any love anymore" but deep within we cant not lie. Yes we need love. Yes we need dat one who calls me his or her own. Yes we need dat shoulder to rest my head upon and Yes we need those late night messages to bug me for crying out loud. Yes we need that piece without which we cannot be whole. Is it stupidity or just bravery? Is it a sign of weakness  or strength to get up fast in life? Or is it we really seeking love or its lust?

Both sides of coin seems right. What are we suppose to do at times like this. Yeah we carry our life. Do the routine with the plastic smile because no one damn cares when you crying. No consolation can put the pain at ease. The love is gone. The faith is gone. You are gone. 

But still your purple bloody heart plays. It seeds faith. You try to resurrect again. Hatred turns hope. The feelings trickle down the spine when you meet the new. You share your secrets. You bond because you got some one to empathize you. But it could be mere sympathy. This mistaken situation is tricked as love again. You go again the same path. You are blinded and cant see your own footprints in the sand you walked before.

Carried by the same dreams wrapped in new cover. You live your life now holding the hands and following the way of your future ex.

And the time comes again when you start again to think its funny that we don't learn from our mistakes. Shattered more than previous. This time you try to jump from building or try to cut wrist. But you chicken out hoping for better future. But you fail to release that you are jinxed and that cannot be cured by anyone's love. Its just dead end. 

As my dear friend keeps saying to love yourself because you are the greatest lover you can ever find. You shall never deceive yourself. Loyal to the core. And I hate to admit he is right. But again its all about stupidity, sign of weakness and lust and we fall for the new one all over again and the vicious cycle continues.

RJFS